“Don’t let the choice of one person, company, or platform, discourage you from giving life your best shot.”
The inspiring story of J.K. Rowling’s multiple rejections and her persistent determination to get published paints an easy picture of ‘winning’ as an eventuality. This is only true for queens who have learned to master their emotions, embrace rejection, and redirect the pain. Rowling may have succeeded in turning her greatest disappointments into a seven-part bestseller, but one thing is certain, it takes guts, intent, and the right approach.
Many women in society have either been fired, divorced, or denied a job for unreasonable, biased, and gendered reasons. Society’s bias for why such things should happen to a woman is more upsetting than the actual rejection. A common belief is that women are usually the architects of their misery by being too ambitious, unsubmissive, or undeserving. In addition, women are also expected to react in a dictated way to rejection. She shouldn’t be too emotional or strong about it.
It is pertinent to note that rejection is simply the resultant effect of one person’s choice on another. It is simply a consequence of choice, not fault! Choosing a guava rather than an apple, while shopping, doesn’t mean that the apple is bad. This truth should lighten the weight of rejection and end all forms of self-examination and faulting. The feeling of rejection is a mixture of many raw emotions, but a feeling is a feeling and never a reality.
Refining rejection helps to redirect the pain rather than react to it. Here are 5 ways you could redirect the pain.
Accept the Reality Rather Than Try to Understand It: Understanding why a candidate was chosen above you, doesn’t make you feel better or deserving. But accepting that a choice has been made will refine the raw pain making the process mental rather than emotional.
Have Compassion and Forgive Yourself: The feeling of rejection is often accompanied by self-disappointment in oneself. Isn’t it crazy to blame yourself for the choice someone else made? Take it easy on yourself and avoid making “never again” decisions.
Stop Thinking and Talking About It: Friends and loved ones will always lend a shoulder, but after shedding some tears, lift your head, pat their shoulders and thank them for their support. The more you replay and relay the incident, the more definite it becomes. Don’t become your pain!
Get Up and Get Busy: The mind is never idle, so give it something worthwhile to do. Unlearn and relearn from past mistakes while strategising for future achievements.
Stay Positive and Purposeful: Wallowing in self-pity will distract you from the beauty of life. The fact that one thing didn’t work out, doesn’t mean nothing is working! Stay positive and make your purpose your direction!
The world is home to over 8 billion people, so one rejection doesn’t count. Don’t let the choice of one person, company, or platform, discourage you from giving life your best shot.
Munachi Yvonne Frank-Dobi is a young professional, gifted creative writer, and enthusiastic entrepreneur. She works full-time in the health sector while giving expression to her passion through her budding writers’ platform – Readers Boon. She recently opened a fashion tech start up- Fede Wears Enterprise. She inspires the world around her through her great storytelling and content creation skills.