How often do we find ourselves overwhelmed by the pressures of life, work and relationships and yet surprisingly, most of settle for a life of misery as we refuse to simply ask for help. Some blame their upbringing or social conditioning but whatever has lead us to believing that asking for help is sign of weakness is like a cancer slowly killing us and robbing us women of reaching our full potential.
Recently, after facing a mini life crisis, I started to re-evaluate my obsession with being “Miss Independent” and what it actually meant to me. To a large extent this glorified title meant that “I didn’t need people”. (I cringe as I make this confession). However my actions sadly reflected this warped belief. The truth is, we are designed to exist in community and community suggests that we can ask for and give help when needed. I realised that the “Miss Independent” belief that so many of us crown ourselves with can be a dangerous door to isolation, and too much isolation can never be healthy, even for the strongest minds.
Then you might ask if I do not believe that women should be educated and in possession of wealth and power? My answer to that is ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I am 100% for women empowerment, which in fact comes with responsibility. It begins with empowering oneself by learning, travelling or whatever self-development means to you, which then leads to helping another woman up and teaching her to walk in her divine strength and power. See the difference?
As a collective, we are dangerously powerful with no limit to what can be achieved; after all two are better than one.
My dear sister once told me that God always sends help, but not always in the packaging that we expect or particularly like, and often times, it’s delivered by an unobvious source (a person), that we reject. However if we changed our perspective and realised that the lesson as well as the help is sent to grow us and never to humiliate us, our “asking for help tests” would be far more pleasant and often times shorter with a better score.
Therefore dear lady, learn to ask for help, not only to expand your life and mind but also that when required of you, you too can freely give it.
About the Author
Lindo Buthelezi is a South African Fashion Stylist and Writer. Lindo describes herself as one who loves Africa, the potential that lies in her, and all her daughters.
More from Lindo can be found in www.lindobuthelezi.com